Friday, January 7, 2011

Yesterday

yesterday was the most terrible day of my life. i am pretty sure i won the worst mother in the world award. yes, i know i am being dramatic, but you would be too if you dropped your 2 month old on the street in the middle of a store parking lot! i will spare you all the gory details, but i will say that this accident involved my precious baby boy face planting it onto the asphalt. his guardian angels must have been working over time because he did not have one single scratch, bruise or bump. thankfully Max has no serious injuries, but it was still a very traumatic day for us both.

while i was holding my baby boy sobbing in the parking lot, i realized that all the stupid things i worry about, and all my silly insecurities are so ridiculous. i started thinking about people i know with real problems, like chronically sick children, and even losing a child. no parent should ever have to lose a child, that would be the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. i couldn't stop thinking about what really matters most in life- the gospel and family. i resolve to be kinder, have more patience, and to be more diligent in living the gospel.

last night when i got up with my Max several times, i did not look longingly at my bed even once. i held my baby a little longer, hugged him a little tighter, and kissed him a little bit more than usual, if that's even possible.

perfection


7 comments:

Scott & Christie Lamb said...

Oh Linds I bet that was hard :-( I'm sure your are just the greatest mama ever! And I'm sure it didn't even phase little max! They are so resilient for a reason but I'm glad he's ok! Hey I was going to ask you what books you said you were reading for helping max sleep! I think I read that in your last post. Anyway I'm reading one right now that I've heard great things about so ill keep ya posted if it works haha

Layla said...

I'm so sorry that you had to experience that, I would have been a complete mess to. You are a great mom and I'm sure your little guy adores you!

The Ellis Fam said...

You are a wonderful and amazing mom. I'm so sorry that you had such a hard day. Hard days with children are nothing compared to the old hard days. It's crazy how this tiny little perfect person can determine how your day goes and how much we love them even when it is a hard time. One sweet look, one squeeze of the finger, learning a new thing, makes ALL the hard things worth it. Call me when it's late, Mark and I stay up till like 2, and I love to talk to you, you Hot Mama.

The Jatens said...

Lindsey, I'm so sorry about your hard day yesterday. I'm so glad that you felt you could call me and I hope that I was able to give you some comfort. Isaac and I both prayed for you and Max. You are such a wonderful mother and Max is so lucky to have you as a mommy. Love ya!

Rhiannon said...

Isn't that the worst feeling ever!?! It is so scary how vulnerable you become as a mother. Any little accident really does make you feel like the worst person in the world. I am so happy he is completely fine & that you recovered from the day. Your little Max is so cute by the way.

amylynne said...

Awwww.... :( We all have days like this. I've dropped both of my children, and both of them have fallen off the couch, and Spencer has fallen off my bed (all when they were less than 6 months old...) When I list it all out like that it sounds horrible, when really they were honest mistakes each time!!! Hang in there. Unfortunately parenting means lots of accidents and guilt sometimes. I feel sometimes like I'm the one learning WAY more in the experience than my children are. You're amazing at it though! Don't worry! :)

Anonymous said...

INSERT