We have decided to try the dreaded cry it out method (CIO) with baby Max. I knew at some point we would have to start sleep training him, and the CIO method was our last option. Just the mere thought of making my sweet baby cry himself to sleep all alone in the dark causes me severe anxiety.
Over the past 5 and a half sleepless months, there have been many times when Dan and I have declared, "Enough! Tonight is the night we are going to start making him cry it out." But it was never very long before one of us caved in at 3 am to our little boys sobs.
After several family discussions, reading all the popular sleep help books, and seeking advice from different pediatricians about the issue, I was really confused on what was the right thing to do. I was getting conflicting messages. Some pediatricians, and articles I read would argue that making a baby cry it out may cause emotional damage. Others would say that it was the only way to get some babies to sleep through the night, and it's harder on the parents than on the baby.
Dan shared Max's sleep challenges with a few pediatric sleep experts at his medical school and they all agreed that it was perfectly fine and healthy for us to let baby Max cry it out. They said that he was in a habit of waking up every 2 to 3 hours and we were only perpetuating the bad behavior. It made complete sense that we were reinforcing his need for night time feedings by giving in to him so often.
We concluded once again that we HAD to make him cry it out for the sake of our marriage, our sanity, and our health. This may sound dramatic, but that's how we feel. Neither of us were functioning very well off of such little sleep, and we were beginning to see the effects on our life. Most nights one of us would sleep on the couch with the baby, while the other slept in the bed, not such a great idea for strengthening a marriage relationship.
Last night was the first night we followed through with the CIO method. Poor little guy cried for 2 straight hours. I was in my bed, crying right along with him. I did go in to check on him every 15 to 20 minutes to pat his belly, and make sure he was okay. It was heartbreaking, and I had a few major panic attacks throughout the night. This was the longest night of my life.
Morning finally came, and we all survived. Life goes on. When I went into Max's room after hearing his morning calls, I was greeted with the biggest smile and happy kicks. I guess he still loves us after all!!
I am trusting my motherly instincts, and I know this is the right choice for our family. But it's still not easy. Our goal is to teach him to sleep from midnight to 6 a.m. without waking up, (which he has never done before), and then hopefully improve from there. It's time to kiss the dark circles under my eyes goodbye.
This is where I need your help and strength mommies. I need to stick this out. Give me your feedback, advice, success stories, and your experience with making your baby cry it out. How long did it take before they adjusted? Is two hours too long, or did your babies cry this long as well? Thanks for the encouragement!
This is the smile I get when Max wakes up. Makes me so happy to be his mama!
17 comments:
He probably won't cry for two hours again tonight and then you'll be able to see improvement! When ive done this with my boys I would go in and check on them every 15 minutes or so (mainly just for my benefit... Haha) but I didn't pick them up- just patted them on the back, put the binky back in, and told them it was time to sleep. And then walked out. They both survived. Haha! You and Dan are such great parents! So trust your instincts! You need sleep!! Good luck tonight! :)
I think 2 hours of crying for the first night is normal and usually they don't cry near as long the next couple nights! And hopefully in another night or two he won't be waking up at all! Trust me the first night is the hardest and now that's behind you : ) Good Luck!
hey, I read a book when I had Browen that helped me understand a lot of his sleep issues and gave me some really good ideas for how to COI effectively if I decided to try that method (which we did). You might have already read it, "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Dr. Mark Wiesbluth. once i read that book and got browen on a better nap schedule during the day his night sleep improved soo much. then we had to let him cry out his one lingering feeding and that went pretty smoothly. good luck! you're doing great with that cute little guy. It's tough to know what to do.
I'll bet tonight will be much shorter and better. It only took 3-4 days with Zach. It is tough, but sleep is vital to your sanity! Good luck!
I took a few child development courses at BYU and ALL of the professors said that after they are 3 months old it is totally fine to let them cry it out for sleep-training purposes, and that it only affects their "trust-building" if you don't respond to their cries ever. Good luck!
I'm in your same boat right now. I've got a three month old that I keep giving into. After 1 hour and 45 minutes of her crying I figured she was hungry again and quit for the night. It's so hard! I totally feel your pain. You are giving me the inspiration I need. Keep us posted on your progress and any suggestions you might have. Good luck!
Linds your such a strong women! Your inspirational! Hang in there, and trust yourself! Your so amazing and i admire you! My sister in law said after a couple days it's amazing how much their sleep improves. Your awesome! Keep us posted. Max is so adorable!!
xoxo
Hang in there girl! When Kaitlin was about 4 months old I couldn't take the lack of sleeping and the always crying the min. I set her down to sleep... I was about to loose my sanity. So we did the CIO method as well, but I would go in and pat her as well. The first night she cried for 1 hour 45 mins, the next night she cried for about an hour, the third night about 30 -45 mins, the fourth night about 20 mins, and the fifth night about 10 mins. In one week she stopped crying when I put her to bed or she would only cry for a few mins. She now is a great sleeper and loves going to bed. I count my blessings because it took a lot of hard work and tears! Max will get the hang of it, just stick with it long enough to see if it will work for him. I feel for you, I know how hard it is! Good luck tonight!
Oh linds you can do it! Gabby was a good little sleeper but I found that it only took a week to get her to sleep through the night! Just pop in the binkie hold his hand whisper it's ok and know that you're doing the right thing for all three ofyupu! I agree with mandie on the book healthy sleep habits happy child! It is a great book if you haven't read it ;-) keep us posted and good luck :-) also do you have an ocean wonders? It hangs on the side of the crib and lights up and moves to music? Gabby LOVES hers! I turn it on and she is hypnotized!
You can do it! It is so hard, but so worth it for all of you. He will be happier and you will be happier when he is sleeping better. Some kids are tough--like I told you.
Good luck tonight and I agree, keep us posted.
You can do it! You can do it! Be strong and dont give in. Its hard, but remember that if you give in once its like starting all over again. And it wont get better if you dont do something about it now. Remember my kid Matthew. Age 4. :) Love ya guys
Hope it's going well. Crying it out has worked for us with Wesley. But we didn't start it till later and I wish that I would've started when he was little like Max. Hopefully he'll be sleeping through the night in no time!!!
Wow! Thanks every one for the encouragement. You have no idea how much it has helped me get through this. We have stuck with it so far, and things are getting better. I will do an update next week. Thanks again!
OH. My. Gosh. I finally found my long lost friend!!! How I've missed you! Do you even remember me (Emily Henzi...Utah State- freezing cold jogs together?!) Anyway- I've been trying to find you on facebook and I couldn't so I thought I'd just good you and your blog came right up. YAY! How are you? Your baby is so adorable! We have a blog- I just made it private though. Anyway....Could you please be a little more gorgeous and make me a little more jealous!!!! My public updater blog is: http://darwinavenue2.blogspot.com/...if you leave me your email I can send you invite to my private family blog.
Lindsey,
How fun to find your blog! (we were looking for somewhere good to go for dinner and Sam said Dan had a blog . . . Anyway, way to go with the CIO. I look forward to chatting with you about it sometime. Isaac is just 8 weeks old (some people say too young for CIO) but I would so rather go through it now than later, because the older they get, the longer they cry . . . I keep telling myself that because it is so hard to hear him cry, but it is working!! He started sleeping through the night just last week, and it is WONDERFUL.
All right, time to go to dinner!
Hi Lindsey,
I am about to start the cry it out approach with my 3 1/2 month old, William. He sleeps decent at night in his crib, only waking up once to eat. My battle is naps. And really, it is transitioning him from napping in the swing to the crib. I have been scouring the internet for success stories from mommas who used CIO. I know your baby Max is older now, but did it work for you? I need encouragement and was so happy to come across your blog! Any advice is appreciated. William does like his crib and can put himself to sleep at night for the most part. I just messed up (first time mom mistake) by starting his naps in the swing and I am ready to break it. I appreciate any feedback! Thanks so much!
Hi Lindsey,
I am about to start the cry it out approach with my 3 1/2 month old, William. He sleeps decent at night in his crib, only waking up once to eat. My battle is naps. And really, it is transitioning him from napping in the swing to the crib. I have been scouring the internet for success stories from mommas who used CIO. I know your baby Max is older now, but did it work for you? I need encouragement and was so happy to come across your blog! Any advice is appreciated. William does like his crib and can put himself to sleep at night for the most part. I just messed up (first time mom mistake) by starting his naps in the swing and I am ready to break it. I appreciate any feedback! Thanks so much!
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