Friday, August 22, 2008

It's not personal, it's business

These feelings may come as a surprise to many family members and friends who know me, seeing as how it has come as a surprise to myself. Being without a job for the last month has helped me come to the realization that I love to stay home. This is something new I have learned about myself because I thought I received my biggest satisfaction in life from working and doing well in my career. When we first moved here, I was so stressed out because I couldn't stand just being home and not being able to find a job. In fact, I was kind of throwing a little pity party for myself, feeling really upset that it was taking me longer than I thought it should to get a job. But after talking to a very wise women, (my mother-in-law), she gave me some advice that really made the difference. She told me to just enjoy this time off and being able to have a break from work. Although I am diligently looking for a job, and have had a few interviews, I really like being a stay at home, domestic wife. I love being able to clean everyday, keep up with the laundry and dishes, cook, attend relief society activities, and write in my journal. Now that I am not working, I have the time and energy to do all these things. I knew there was some sort of lesson I was supposed to learn from this trial and stress of not being able to find a job. The lesson I learned is that I want to be home, and have a family.

Even though I love babies, I didn't really feel like I was ready or would even enjoy staying home and having my own. I used to think, what on earth would I do all day without work? Where will I get my validation without the success of a career? Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't understand the importance of being a mother and home maker, I just didn't know where or when it would fit into my own life. It's funny how the Lord works, and this experience of being forced to slow down has definitely changed my paradigm and priorities. All it took was to slow down a little bit and have a little quiet time away from work and the drama of the work place, to help me realize what I want in life. For the past 5 years (and longer) all I have done is work, work, work. I have missed out on so many family, and church events. Working on my own talents, personal growth, and family has sort of taken a back seat to earning money and climbing the corporate ladder. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but this is such a huge personal step and change of thinking for me. So who knows, maybe the pitter-patter of little feet in our home is not too far in the distance...

15 comments:

Blake and Mandi said...

I loved this post! I went through the same thing last year. . .it took getting shingles and mono, followed by an 'unplanned' pregnancy to slow me down and help me 're-evaluate' what life is all about. I still want to work, and LOVE it. . . but i also realized that my worth isn't really tied up in that part of life, and there are other things that I want to be able to put energy into as well. oh. . . .the struggles of womanhood! ---Mandi PS> YOUR HOUSE DOES LOOK LIKE CANDACE OLSEN DESIGNED IT! AMAZING!

The Jatens said...

Have a baby!!!!

Rowley's said...

Lindsey, you'll be a great house wife and mom! Being a mother has isn't ups and downs but there is nothing more gratifying, for me atleast! There is one thing I miss about working and that is the interactions with adults. I guess that is what playgroups are for!

Anonymous Woman said...
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Susan said...

That took a lot of courage and honesty to say that! I cried a little cuz so many of us are way into the game before we realize the wisdom in those two paragraphs. We love you lindsey and are proud of you. You work just as hard being a mom and housewife, just no kudos or paychecks. The pay back for me is the good man standing by your side!

georgeandmarie said...

Being a mom is the best job you can have, and it is the most rewarding job you will ever have! Sure it is hard and stressful and not always fun...but it is well worth it!! It is so funny how the Lord gets through to us what he has in store for us!! Good luck with whatever road your life goes on!

Jamie Dee said...

i am so in love with being a mom :)

Kristin said...
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Mark and Caroline said...

see lindz. i told you. when we moved to slc in june i took all of june off and it was beautiful. i hated not having the money i wanted to get my house where you've taken yours, but i loved staying home and feeling like a good wife. have you heard from the ppl with that interview you had? let me know. and i know you'll make great parents when the time comes just look at both of your parents as examples; how could you not.

marissa said...

Wow, I love your post I can't wait for the day where I don't have to work anymore and stay home, but it will be hared not having the money to play with.

TNT + 4 Lil' Firecrackers said...

Lindsey....
Don't second guess yourself...whether you want to believe it or not...motherhood is in all of us and when it happens...you'll be ready, maybe not for 9 months, but when they put that screaming infant into your arms for the first time...you'll be ready! Good luck...big decisions! Let me know if you need a listening ear!

Janika said...

You'll fit wonderfully in your new ward where 82% of adults are pregnant, nursing, or married to someone who is :) 82% of that 82% are in chiropractic school or medical vocations. Have fun!

Kristin said...
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Cammi, Ricky & Logan said...

i love you more and more everytime I talk to you, or read a new post! You are awesome Linds. i miss you!

Toby and Tammy said...

I love this post-it showed a side of you that you don't show too often! I really liked what you had to say about staying home. I miss teaching, but it is nice to be able to stay home and run my house! It takes a lot of work to make things run smoothly and it's even harder when you're working full time. You are amazing!